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Pirate Fest, June 2012 - Put-in-Bay, OH

Chapter 6th: Of Saturday evening, including dinner out with the pirates overtaking another restaurant; A profile of Ed Rembert; Going to the pirate contest at The Boathouse and what happened there; Heading from there to Hooligans (where else?) and being diverted along the way; Arriving at Hooligans; Hobnobbing with the Bastard Bearded Irishmen Band and cautionary tale about Mission's after-hours adventures.

At 5pm, our site was officially closed for business, so we got everything packed away for the evening and sealed up the tents as well as we could against the drunks who would be wandering through in the wee hours. A debate started over where to have dinner. A large part of the crew was for going to Pasquale's Italian Restaurant, but some people had been concerned that it might be too small for such a large group. I started to A part of the crew at Pasquales
Photo: Michael Colosimo
get shaky due to low blood sugar, so I said I was going to Pasquale's. I arrived to find that Thomas Alleman, Ed, Shannon and some others had already done the same and they had staked out several large tables. So we proceeded to take over another restaurant section as you see in the photos below.

I was sitting across from Dave and Becci of the Sos Boss crew. When the waitress came around, they told her they were waiting for someone else. It's no good trying to be polite with low blood sugar, so I ordered. Then I asked where Carla was. "She went to take a shower," Dave answered. "She should be here any time." My food came and I asked about her again. "Oh," Dave said philosophically, "she'll come back with some story to tell about something that happened to her along the way. Maybe she met someone she knew. Or maybe something unexpected occurred." Becci agreed, adding that it was usually the case. They were so accepting of this. (I would have been pulling my hair out - I like things to run according to plan. Such traits becomes even more pronounced when my sugar runs low. But then I tend to get anxious when I make people wait for a few seconds after a traffic light turns green, so my tolerance is probably not a very good gage of such things.)

Some time after that, a woman walked into Pasquale's and went straight over to Dave. It was his sister! (Seen below right.) I didn't catch the whole story of why she was here, but she had, in fact, run into Carla on her way back from the shower and gotten into a discussion with her. But where was Carla? "Oh, she's coming." Eventually she did and I believe they had just ordered about the time I left. Part of the Sos Boss group's charm appears to be its deep understanding of the members of the collective as well as a virtuous patience.

Another table at Pasquales
Photo: Mission
Yes... I was surprised to see utensils on the table too.
Michael's table at Pasquales
Photo: Mission
♫ Blinded by the light...♪
Sos Dave and his siterPhoto: Mission
Dave and his sister

Ed Rembert
Photo: Mission
Also sitting across the table from me during dinner was Ed Rembert. I have seen Ed at several events since he showed up at the Santa Maria Pirate Weekend in May 2011, but had managed to really talk with him so that I could profile him in these Journals. It's high time we remedied that.

Ed told me that he first got into reenacting with a group that did Buffalo soldiers and Rough Riders. I believe he started out doing a French and American Indian Wars era interpretation. He said that from there he had gotten into several other reenactment periods including Civil War, several ancient Mediterranean gigs like Eastern Mediterranean and Near Africa as well as Roman and Byzantine. He also mentioned something called "Little Civil War" reenacting, although I must confess I'm not sure what that is. (He may have told me, but I have apparently forgotten if he did. This is not unusual.) I also happen to know that he was in the Coast Guard because he talked for quite awhile with my father who came out to the Put-in-Bay event last year. My father loves to talk about the CG.


Mary Diamond and Mission at camp
Photo: Mission's Camera
After dinner, everyone had planned to make use of the shower tokens that Ty had so generously procured for the crew staying in the camp site. So I went across the street to my hotel and did likewise. (It had been a hot and sticky day.) Then I ambled back to the campsite to see who was ready and what it was they were ready to do.

When I arrived, I found Mary Diamond and Lisa/Cheeky preparing to leave. Most of the folks at dinner had gone off to take their showers. Mary and Lisa had skipped dinner to shower and get ready for their evening out.

From them I learned that the crew who were not currently showering had decided to go over to the Boathouse, the bar/restaurant located across the street from our display. The folks from the Boathouse had come over to our display camp and asked if we would turn out for their costume contest that evening. Off we went, me leading Mary by the arm like the gentleman surgeon that I am. (Or something.) The sun was waning and I, having been fully showered, was enjoying the evening with my delightful companions.

The crowd at the Boathouse
Photo: Mission
To say that the Boathouse was crowded would be to understate the facts. Mark and Jennie Gist had managed to procure a small table, but most of the pirates wound up floating around moor-less. .

The contest was in full swing up on the stage. In fact, not long after we arrived, who should be called to the front but Ed Rembert and Jim Shipley! They went up to the stage to be in the Best Costumed Pirate or something like that.

Pirates table at the Boathouse
Photo: Mission
Once there, they were interviewed by a really foul-mouthed comedian. You know the sort; when he can't think of anything humorous to say, he uses the word f--k. Ah, humor.

He asked our pirates several questions loaded with innuendo and then requested that the audience vote for their favorite by cheering. It turned into a draw between Ed and another guy I didn't know.

From where I was standing, the applause thing seemed to be a horrible indicator. I can't figure how they could tell the difference between the applause for one person and another. Mr. Foul then proceeded to ask some more stupid questions and... Ed won! Huzzah! We had all been in the back cheering him loudly during the voting, so I guess we helped. Then they moved on to another category that didn't include our group - I think it was best best Cheap Costume Pirate or something like that.

Ed and Jim on stage
Photo: Mission
Ed answers a question with witty aplomb
Ed looking cool
Photo: Mission
Ed strikes a pose.
Ed and his prizesPhoto: Mission
Ed and his prizes

Pirate King and Queen
Photo: Mission
Our involvement in the contest wasn't finished, however. Bill and Marci Kroska had been sitting quietly in a booth that was out of my sight when we showed up. They came into my sight when Mr. Foul called them up to the stage for the Pirate King and Queen category.

There followed the usual questions filled with innuendo and swear words. Apparently to earn a prize in a Boathouse contest you had to let the comedian demean you. He eventually threw the voting to the audience. We cheered like banshees in the back leading to Bill and Marci being crowned King and Queen of the pirate contest at the Boathouse. So it was a pretty good sweep for our group as far as contests go.


Group taking over the sidewalk
Photo: Mission
Not long after that, everyone agreed that they had had quite enough of Mr. Foul and we voted as a group to quit the place. Where could we go next? See if you can guess...

We took over most of the sidewalk and some of the road on our way to Hooligan's Irish Pub. Most of our group had trickled in by the time it was we decided to leave the Boathouse. Everyone was ready for a night at our favorite hangout.

This involved walking from one end of Put-in-Bay to the other and... Ooh! Fireworks! Shiny! We were diverted.

Crew watching the fireworks
Photo: Mission
The crew stops to watch the fireworks. Note Michael and his camera.
Like last year, the city of Put-in-Bay was putting on a fireworks show over the bay. So we all wandered through the park to the water's edge to watch them from the dock.

Just like last year, I decided to take photos of the fireworks for the Journal. And, also just like last year, my photos were horrible. I just don't learn. Fortunately, Michael Colosimo was taking pics of the fireworks as well. You can see the difference between his photos and mine below. He has a really nice camera, one you have to carry around your neck and set up before you can take effective photos. (This is why I don't have one. I want something I can stuff in my pocket and just pull out to shoot photos.) Michael probably even understands what an 'F-stop' is. He may even be able to use it in a sentence properly.

Mission's firework photo
Photo: Mission
Mike's firework photo 1
Photo: Michael Colosimo
Mike's firework photo 2
Photo: Michael Colosimo
Mike's firework photo 3Photo: Michael Colosimo

When the fireworks ended, we all trooped on to Hooligan's. It was crowded and noisy, with the Bastard Bearded Irishmen up on stage jamming. Since Mary and Cheeky hadn't eaten, they asked the hostess if they could get something. She said the kitchen had just closed, but she would see what she could do. Soon, Mary and Cheeky had food. (Hooligan's is so good to us.) After eating, everyone all got up to watch the band perform and I went off to procure drinks. Eventually the music slowed a bit and Mary Diamond and I danced. I had been hoping the rest of the crew would be around for the fast-dancing this evening, but most of them wound up on the deck outside. I suppose they had had their fill last night, which I had missed due to my headache. Ah, well.

The Bastard Bearded Irishmen
Photo: Mission
Mission and Mary Dance
Photo: Mission

The Michaels and Kate in the Room
Photo: Mission
We danced several dances and hung around listening to the band for quite awhile. Lisa/Cheeky and Mary had apparently been watching a little room that sits just off of the stage and snagged it when the people occupying it left. The little room was sort of neat, with chairs and tables lining the walls and a very dark woodsy/clubby feel to it. There were several photos of people who were no doubt known only to the owners on the walls.

Pirates filtered in and out of our little hideaway room including the Michaels and Kate (left), Matt and Tammi and the three of us. After a time, Mary decided that this would be the ideal room in which to take interesting profile photos, so we played around with that for awhile. You can see the results below.

Mary poses in the Room
Photo: Mission
Mary Diamond in a warm pose
Mary and her maid, Bess
Photo: Mary's Camera
The Lady and her Maid in the Parlour
Tammi in the Room
Photo: Mission
Tammi takes a spot on the bench

The Bastard Bearded Irishmen Playing
Photo: Mission
Throughout all these goings on the Bastard Bearded Irishmen continued playing their up tempo Irish music. When they stopped for a break, I saw an opportunity to talk with Rachel, who plays the voila. (I believe I have been calling it a fiddle. Looking at their website, I learned that it is a viola. This does not mean I will not call it a fiddle again in the future, but one can always hope.)

Viola player Rachel and Mission
Photo: Mission
From Rachel, I learned that the members of the band were mostly, if not all, classically-trained musicians. They did their first Irish set as a sort of joke at the wedding of a friend and it worked out so well, that, like many good jokes, it kept on. going. This was also the genesis of their name, but I was not clear on what the joke was there. (Perhaps none of them were bearded at the beginning? I don't know...)

Rachel told me that the band has been touring for the past three years. She said they do about one gig a month on average. She also noted that the band writes their own music which they intersperse with some of the other music they plan. She said that she was in another band with her boyfriend Mike. (Mike was organizing the sound system for the BBIs. You'll meet him shortly.) If she told me what sort of band they were in together, I don't recall what it was. I do recall asking her if she'd ever heard of the band Apocalyptica, but she hadn't. Perhaps I should have asked her if she'd ever heard of the band Bond instead.


Trish with her mug on her head
Photo: Mission
Having hung around by the band for quite awhile, I decided to wander about Hooligan's for and see what sort of trouble I could get into. As I mentioned before, most of the other pirates were out on the deck. M.A. d'Dogge and Billie were holding fort at a table tucked into it's own spot off to the side of the deck with a crew of cronies. I listened in for a bit. It was mostly a bunch of outrageous stories about other reenactments, the veracity of which I do not doubt at all. (This Journal is living proof of that. If you don't believe bizarre things happen, check the supporting photo documentation!)

I also chatted with Trish, Shannon and another group of pirates on the other side of the deck. Trish was celebrating the second day of her birthday by getting pretty shnockered. She wanted another photo of my mug on her head like the one taken last year because she said it was now a tradition. So there it is at right.

I ran into Michael Colosimo out on the street and asked him what had happened to Jim, Thomas and Ed. He told Hooligan's Recip photo
Photo: Mission's Camera
me that had gone down by the boats where the boat people were having private parties and hopefully giving away free booze to passing pirates. I later asked these guys about this and they didn't tell me much. I asked them if they had taken any photos but they said they hadn't. (Makes you wonder, doesn't it?)

Michael and I weren't standing there long when we got roped into a reciprocal photo. The girls insisted that they be on either side of the pirates, which certainly does one's ego good. (I mainly put the photo in here to make Jim and his crew jealous. I don't know what happened on the boats, but this kind of stuff happened a lot on shore. A lot.)

There were a number of interesting people dancing. So I took some surreptitious photos of them to stick in the Journal. The first one is of the Stripey Girl. I wasn't shooting her in particular when I took this photo, but Jim Shipley picked her out when looking at my camera and told me he kept Betty in stripes
Photo: 'Borrowed'
seeing her on Friday night going in and out of Hooligan's and wondered how she could possibly be twenty-one. So there she is. The looks like Betty Boop to me. (Well, OK, her cheeks aren't quite so Don Corleone as BB's, but you get the point.)

The next photo is primarily of the new Captain Olive. (I had left my cape in the hotel room.) Now, I know the cape looks silly, but I sincerely hop I did not look like this guy.

The last two photos are of a girl who strode confidently into the bar and started dancing in a really curious way. I call her the Cool Girl (not to be confused with cool girl Suzanne Larner), because she exuded Cool to me. When I was out on the porch listening to the Beach Brothers tell their bizarre stories, I spotted her on the opposite side of the glass and decided to see if I could get her to pose in the Patrick Hand Original™ Planter's hat. (There had been almost no photos of people doing this so far and I was concerned.) She did, but, as you can see, the photo came out horribly. I have a policy of never taking two photos of something and this is an example of why that is a bad policy.

Stripey Girl dancing
Photo: Mission
Stripey Girl Dances
The new Captain Olive
Photo: Mary's Camera
The New Captain Olive
Cool Girl Dancing
Photo: Mission
Cool Girl Dances
Cool Girl in the Patrick Hand Original
Photo: Mission
Why one photo is sometimes inadequate

Mary, Lisa and I hung around until the place closed. The band began packing up their stuff when Lisa started asking us about "a question of regiment." Mary and I had no idea what she was talking about, so she explained, with great exasperation, that it concerned what the lead singer was wearing under his kilt. (I think Lisa makes this stuff up. A question of regiment, indeed.) So off Mary went to ask him as they were unplugging their instruments. Lisa acted absolutely dumbfounded at this turn of events, but you can never be sure whether she's serious or not. Mary returned with a smug grin and Lisa started begging for the answer. Mary played coy.

A question of regminet
Photo: Mission
Mary asking the question of regiment
Mary with the band
Photo: Mission
Mary giggling over the answer
Lisa relaxing
Photo: Mission
Lisa about to answer a question of regiment

About this time... What? What do you mean, what was the answer to the question of regiment? What do you think? About this time... WHAT? Well the guy is up on a stage and their are kids hanging around sometimes. Think about it! About this time... WHAT? Lisa? No she definitely does, although I did hear a story from Mary... but never mind about that.

About this time, I got another idea about photos of people wearing the Patrick Hand Original™ Planter's hat. I would have the band pose with it! So I started handing it around and... my camera battery died after three photos. Fortunately, Mary was a willing accomplice in this plan to do something new and interesting with getting people to pose with the infamous hat. She took photos of the rest of the band with her phone for me. (Thank you, Mary.)

Ben Jaber in the Patrick Hand Hat
Photo: Mission
Ben Jaber - Bass and Stuff
Rachel Karras in the Patrick Hand Hat
Photo: Mission
Rachel Karras - Viola
Mike - Rachel's Boyfriend
Photo: Mary Diamond
Mike - Sound Boards
Danny Rectenwald in Patrick Hand Hat
Photo: Mary Diamond
Danny Rectenwald

It's interesting to note the different ways people pose with the Hat on. Perhaps it says something about a them. Most likely not, though. I did promise to introduce Rachel's boyfriend later and later is now. Her boyfriend is Mike, whose last name does not appear on the website, so I couldn't put under his photo. He was working the sound system for the band to make sure everything came out optimally. (Optimally = quite loud.)

Dan Stocker in the Patrick Hand Hat Photo: Mary Diamond
Dan Stocker - Drums
Jimmy Bastard in the Patrick Hand Hat
Photo: Mission
Jimmy Bastard - Lead Vocals (That can't be his real name.)
Jon Pitcher in the Patrick Hand Hat
Photo: Mary Diamond
Jon Pitcher - Guitar and stuff

After that, Mary, Donna, Thomas Alleman (who had shown up at some indeterminate point) and I all went out on the sidewalk to get some air and discuss our future plans. Mary and Lisa wanted to hang around and party with the band. They invited us to go with them, but I was done for; it was far past my normal time for evening subconsciousness. Thomas announced that he was ready for some sack time as well. So Thomas I and wandered off in the direction of our beds while Mary and Lisa went back to discuss things with the band. More questions of regiment, I suppose.


This brings us to the last story for Saturday, a story which is so fantastic you're probably not going to believe it. (It happened to me and I'm not sure I believe it yet.) Thomas and I wandered down the street where I got Not the girl
Photo: Stolen
Sheryl with brunette hair. Kinda.
accused of being a pilgrim. Then (almost in the same breath) I got asked to pose for a photo. Since my camera was dead, you get no recip photo of this. Directly after that, Thomas peeled off at a pizza stand along the way and I took my leave of him.

Arriving at the Park Hotel Entrance, I stepped into the large patio area that fronts the place. It is filled tables and chairs that are used as an al fresco chicken restaurant during the day. The chickens were gone, giving way to a few chicks (sorry) who were hanging out by the hotel door.

As I strolled up, one of the girls broke from the group. She had a Sheryl Crow aspect to her: a tall, lanky, laid-back brunette with long, wavy brown hair. I wanted to ask her why they had chosen her wasted, lackadaisical song "Tomorrow Never Dies" to be the title song for that James Bond movie when k. d. lang's song "Surrender" from the same album was superior in EVERY way, but I decided against it. (Seriously. Follow the links. Go compare them.)

Also not the girl
Photo: Also Stolen
k.d. looking quite Bond-like
But to our story... Sheryl (we'll call her Sheryl for now) asked me why I was wearing a pilgrim hat. I explained that it was not a pilgrim hat, it was a planter's hat and it was worn by some of the real pirates. (I didn't explain that it was also Patrick Hand Original™, because she was pretty intoxicated and probably wouldn't have appreciated the gravity of this revelation.)

She then asked me my name and I said it was Mission. She repeated it. She paused, obviously thinking through the alcohol.
She pointed at me and said, "Mission," then pointed at herself and said, "Mary."
"Nice to meet you, Mary," I replied.
Slight pause.
"No, NARY!" she shot back.
Color me nonplussed.
Nary rolled her eyes.
I half expected them to keep rolling around like one of those stuffed bears with hollow plastic white eyes that contain little black discs. (She was really quite drunk.)

Movie poster
Photo: And Some More Stolen
What would Bond do? (Don't answer that.)
She pointed at me and said "Mission!", then pointed at herself and said "-nary!" Point. "Mission!" Reverse-point. "-nary!" This is probably a revelation of some deep-seated character flaw, but I did not fully understand what was being communicated here until the following morning. (I thought it was some sort of silly drunken pun.)

Then she announced that I was hot and she wanted a picture with me, but she had to put her leg up. Color me nonplussed, part duex. She pushed me over to a table, put her leg up on the seat and posed. I grabbed her leg, not wanting to look like the biggest doofus on her Facebook page (because I have no doubt it went straight there only to be deleted the next morning when she was sober. "Why is there a picture of a pilgrim holding my leg?") Her friends took the photo and I released her leg.

At this point, I tried to escape to my hotel. I wanted to try and grok this happening in fullness. But she grabbed me again and said, "Let's do another!" So we did and then I got away.

I do apologize for my camera battery or I'd have actual proof of all this nonsense. Regular readers will instantly recognize that this is not the sort of story I make up. (Those typically involve stuffed monkeys and sinking boats.)

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